Kids are definitely creepy. Part of the creepiness has to be the fact that they don’t have any reference for acceptable social conversation. We have a neighbor kid who I can tell is really smart, well-spoken for a four year old, and a little quirky.

He hears my girls playing in the backyard and usually starts talking to them through the fence. Then he comes over to play. Boys are a little more risk oriented than girls so I have to routinely stop them from doing things like throwing wooden blocks at each other as they are sliding or jousting with wooden tomato stakes. I have to set boundaries on violent games and the way they all interact verbally. Lately I have had to set a few other boundaries.

One day the girls came inside from playing and were laughing about their neighbor friend. They told me that he comes into our yard without us knowing sometimes and he looks into the windows. Awesome. I have started wearing pants around the house a little more which I think is unfair to me as a homeowner. If I want to stroll commando at 10:30 at night to get an icy cold Coke or make a sandwich then I should have to worry about peeping minors being scarred for life. So we started semi-locking the gate. I would call it locking but some wind blew the gate backwards and those doors are barely hanging now. It is more of a booby-trap than a barrier.

We added a shallow pool to our backyard repertoire and our neighbor was super excited to come play. At first he was in some new clothes and my girls insisted that he join in the fun. I tried to keep them from being too insistent as they continuously asked, “Why don’t you come swimming? Its fun! Its fun!”

I tried to give him a window to feel less pressured, “He is in his nice clothes girls, he will have to go home and change.”

“He could just swim naked!” responds Threeto.

“Dear God no. That is not… um… legal. He would definitely go to jail. Nobody can be naked outdoors, it is in the Constitution.” I looked at the confused four-year-old sternly. Then I gave the same look to the girls. “He can swim if he asks his mother and changes into a swimming suit.”

I don’t condone minors skinny dipping.

He came back over and they all had a grand time swimming around the ten foot wide swimming pool. I told him that we had to be home and outside but if we were then he could join us. That evening the girls went to their Mamaw’s house and Supermom and I had a free night.  We were sitting in the bedroom around 5:00 when I heard an exterior door open and then shut again. I rushed to the living room and saw the boy looking in through the back door. He had come inside and then gone out again. I opened the door and explained to him that he shouldn’t come into the back yard through a closed gate if we aren’t outside and he certainly shouldn’t come into the house unannounced. I suggested that he use the front door to knock and see if anyone is home. Then I walked him out of the backyard. Ten seconds later he knocked on the front door.

“The girls aren’t home right now buddy.” I said as I tried to act like he had just appeared and didn’t come directly from my backyard.

He had a perplexed look and thought deeply before responding. “Okay. I’m going to a monster truck show so I will be back at 5:30.”

“They won’t be home for a day or two so…”

“That’s okay. You can come get me in a little while.”

“I feel like we are not communicating here.”

“Can I come knock on the door later?”

“No.”

“Okay I’ll be back later.”

I just laughed.

He is such a sweet and innocent kid but he keeps me nervous that he is living in my attic and listening through the air vents. Kids can be so awkward.

If you enjoy a little variety and suspense from kids with no social boundaries, this post is for you. You’re welcome.

-Underdaddy to the rescue.