Text Messages

Five Textures

Everyone seemed to enjoy the candid conversations via technology that I enjoy on a daily basis. The cool thing about texts is that they get put in a string of conversation but they aren’t necessarily related. Here are five of my most recent favorites.


One morning we were late leaving the house in a mad rush and Supermom decided to drive the kids to school while wearing her PJ’s. She got about a mile down the road and saw that she needed fuel, asap. She called me and asked me to stop at the gas station and pump her gas which I did gladly. We were both late so when I finished I walked to her open window and gave her a quick kiss and left Don Threeto had a cute explanation of why we stopped at the gas station together.


Dirk the 4th Chipmunk is a Kids Place Live satellite radio character. So that would be interesting. 

The next few texts show a decline of sanity and peacefulness in the household from morning to the afternoon. Don Threeto was the main culprit who masterminded the downward spiral.



Apparently the kids decided to have some fun that was safer but messier. Supermom was not amused.



Things continued in the downward spiral and ended with me needing to fix the cord on our new vacuum.


K is Kolaso, our bunny rabbit. Now I feel like working late. 

If you hang out with kids long enough then you start to consider things like never having another one. The drama culminated with a universal appreciation for birth control.


Strangely she didn’t reply. I thought it was funny. 

If you missed round one of my favorite texts then you can find more here.

If you are curious about what snip snip is referring to, click here. Surely you know but if you ever wondered what actually happens then give it a read.

If you enjoy a marriage with a sense of humor, this post is for you. You’re welcome.

-Underdaddy to the rescue.

Text Me Up

Part of the excitement of being married to a stay-at-home-mom is the daily randomness that I get to experience. It follows a semi-predictable pattern; everything is good until the older two come home from school then all bets are off. Actually, all bets are on and my money is on the shit hitting the fan. However, nothing is written in stone and no one can predict exactly where a day will get strange.

Here are some fun texts I have gotten.

Text Moments 1

These are fairly typical. Someone pooped/spilled/peed.

Animals kick it up a notch. We remember Toby fondly but he had some difficult moments.


It was kind of true. He was being a jerk that day. 

Other animal moments involving the incontinent dog are fun. In the picture below there is a typo, the “bug” man not the big man. She is not biased against fat people, just unnerved by the exterminator.


The dog is like a goofy blind special needs pet that is too cute to put down except she isn’t cute anymore really. 

Some texts are out of left field and prove I married the right woman because of her sense of humor. Maybe Ramona will be just as accepting…


Ramona’s alias is Current Resident, I bet she is in med-school. We could use that kind of financial help. 

The next one I have to put a disclaimer because she reads all these. It is an exaggeration and I have never noticed any maintenance issues.


I like a lady who can keep me warm at night. 

And for the final reason that I love the texts from home. I know that she is using her time at home to develop important life skills.


Who doesn’t want to be married to a ninja! She has mad food-sneaking skills. 

So if you get awesome and random correspondence from the home front, this post is for you. You’re welcome.

-Underdaddy to the rescue.