Kid Free

Skipping School

Did you ever skip school? Play hookey? Have a day when the whole world went on as normal but you were given a free day off?

I did. Not often but some.

I remember the excitement most of all. I remember the surreal feeling of pure freedom and possibility. ANYTHING was possible. There was also an element of danger. A fear that some adult may stop you and question why you aren’t at school.

“Aren’t you a little young for morning coffee at Waffle House?”
“Nope. This is totally normal.”

I found myself suddenly paranoid. Every other driver on the road became a spy that would turn me in for truancy. How could I make myself look older? Sit up straight and furrow my brow maybe? Within thirty minutes I was convinced that all law enforcement was on the lookout for me. I had to get off the street and move in the shadows. I never skipped without an accomplice so we usually went to a home base to plan our next move.

Planning was just as predictable. What are our objectives? To have fun and make this day epic. What do we need to make that happen? Some sort of outlawed enjoyment; food, booze, women, motorized vehicles, etc. So many options and so little time.

The reality is that school days just aren’t that long and everyone you want to see outside of school is either at work or in school. By the end of the day the opportunity has passed and the hopefulness turns into regret for the time that was wasted. Some many people had epic stories of awesome things they did while skipping school. I had a few fun memories made but it was more from how hilariously normal the day turned out to be instead of the quest that I had planned.

I wonder if we ever grow out of that cycle. Getting tired of a routine and trying to break free.

The kids went to stay with Grandparents for the week and Supermom and I had grand plans. The house would finally be conquered. Parties would go down. Movies would be watched. Road trip adventures. I might choose to not wear pants with reckless abandon. Why not?

We were free and itching for a chance to have an epic time.

Day One: Went to Wal-Mart and realized we are the most boring people on the entire planet. I almost bought juice before I realized that the kids were gone and I didn’t need juice. Supermom and I laughed about that for an embarrassing amount of time.
Day Two: Went to a movie and allowed popcorn to double as dinner. Jurassic World was awesome, exactly what I wanted. Blood and dinosaurs with minimal story or character development.
Day Three: Did an escape room challenge and almost solved it this time. Literally had the key in our hands when the timer went off. Probably shouldn’t have whiskey before a puzzle challenge.
Day Four: Slept late. Ate Lunch. Napped again. Went to Old Navy to exchange a pair of shorts. Watched a terrible movie on Vudu rental. Ate Lipton Sides package of rice, chicken flavor.

Going to get the kids tomorrow and we miss them all so much. What is it about children that wears you out and makes you want to play hookey to parenting knowing that life is zero percent more awesome without them around. We accomplished nothing so I guess they are off the hook as scapegoats. Onward to reality.

If you are a procrastinating daydreamer, this post is for you. You’re welcome.

-Underdaddy to the rescue.