Broken Bones

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My documentation of life has been lax lately. I haven’t felt the writing bug or even the ability to remember much.

We’ve had weekend trips and baby goats and all kinds of excitement. Donna Threeto got glasses (see below). We had a flood. Then another flood. I got to see Washington DC. I’ll share some good flood photos in another post. Maybe. Sometime.

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Yay! Baby goats!

Anyway. Work life has escalated. In a good way but a busy way as well. I have been traveling a little more and anytime I am out of town life seems to make trouble for me back home.

This week, trouble was in the form of a broken thumb. Who else but Prima, our graceful low calcium princess. She was struck with a dodgeball and immediately had swelling and bruising in her thumb. I assumed that she had stubbed it. Her teacher texted me a picture and I suggested the dad approach of rubbing a little dirt on it and proceeding with life. After all, who the hell breaks a bone in dodgeball? Maybe an ankle but to snap a thumb at the growth plate?

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Made you look. 

Supermom sent me the picture after a fun trip to the doctor’s office at 7:00 at night. She took all four children because all of our babysitting options were out of town. In fact, I was at another hospital in another town visiting one of the grandparents. I got a series of texts that let me know the bone was broken and that she is going to a specialist the next day.

The next day I got a text that I should cancel my schedule the next day because the doctor was going to place her under anesthesia and re-break the thumb to set it correctly. Fun. And they wanted her to check in at the hospital at 6:00 am. More fun.

We did have a fun pre-op experience though.

It is important to remember that Prima is our worry-wart child. She once cried for an hour because poison berries existed and she was afraid that one day she may not be able to stop her hand from making her mouth eat them. True story. She also decided she was afraid of bugs and would barely leave the living room for a week or so. She has done a lot of self-therapy and is much improved but still has a panic from time to time.

So… our pensive princess is sitting in the prep-room and the nurse hands her a gown. She is given the instructions to remove all of her clothes and put on the gown.

Prima asks, “Can I leave my panties on?”

The nurse responds flatly, “The doctor doesn’t like to leave anything that can catch on fire…”

Her eyes widen to the size of dinner plates. I can only imagine the images that she was putting together in her head. Supermom saw the problem immediately and assured her that she was not at risk of burning to death while getting her thumb fixed. Prima was allowed to wear her undergarment without further question.

She was nervous until the IV of Versed convinced her that nothing really matters and life is a warm pool of happy.

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Procedure went good. Recovery was slow. I think the medicine was rough on her. She passed out after trying to get up too quickly. Eventually she got to head home after a little Sprite and some vomiting.

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In about five weeks everything should be good to go. Just in time for swimming and summer.

If you have been injured in a game of dodgeball this post is for you. You’re welcome.

-Underdaddy to the rescue.

Prima the Second

I like timely posts and keeping the reading relevant for people trying to read along with our story. Everyone in our family has something to contribute to the crazy and the spotlight changes from week to week. This week I feel like I need to tell you about Prima the Ballerina. Her name is a lingering irony because while she loves music and dance, she has some real work to do before she is graceful.

Prima is the second child and she is a quiet and loving child. She has one of those glowing spirits that really enjoys happiness and other people being happy. She is a big kid so she doesn’t get much guff from the others. She is tall for her age and solid. When she is excited her entire face lights up and when she is hurt it pulls at my heart.

When she was a toddler we worried because she was very quiet. She watched, listened, and interacted but very rarely spoke. We wondered if she could. Then one day she decided to speak and out came a nice detailed sentence. Subject, verb, and good clear words. She has an awesome memory and saves her words to build a vocabulary. I remember one day in particular. We drove past a U-haul van with the picture and fun facts on the side and this van had a sea turtle. Prima looks at her older sister Jane and says, “I see a tortoise.”

Jane replies, “What is a tortoise?”

Prima rolls her eyes and says, “Duh it’s a turtle Jane.”

She hadn’t spoken for most of the morning and for a four year old she was awfully proud of showing off to her six year old sister. That for me sums it up personality wise. She listens and waits and then when the time is right she unleashes her collected thoughts which are pretty well on target.

So what has Prima done in the past few days?

We can start with her nonchalantly grabbing someone’s boobs. I blame her inherited A.D.D. and curiosity. The interesting part of this story is that Supermom and I were at a Christmas party during this event and learned about it by text. A couple had just asked me, “So is your life really that interesting or are you good at making it sound interesting?”

I promised that the stories were facts and not five minutes later we get a text from my brother’s girlfriend.

 

“So your daughter just grabbed my boobs.”

“……”

“She was talking to me and just grabbed them and asked why I had them. She said they are for babies and asked if I had a baby.”

“Sorry.”

“She told me that mommy had these but she was done with babies so they were getting smaller.”

“Awesome.”

“Just thought you would want to know. Lol”

“I…just…Eh… Sorry.”

 

So the kids are unpredictable and timely. That would not be the last time this past week that they served up irony.

In a previous post I shared how we are outnumbered and rely on a Zone Defense approach. We can’t follow the kids around and watch them all the time and so we try to anticipate what they may do. If you have kids you know this is impossible.

My karma in this situation started at dance class. This week we were allowed to go back and watch the children in class. Ever parent hopes they have a prodigy in something amazing but honestly I am beginning to hope mine are average at extra-curricular activities. Prima was completely unfocused and that is compared to a line-up of five year olds. She was lost in her own thoughts staring around the room and puffing her cheeks out like a blowfish. They would watch the teacher and practices tap steps and she was always a step behind because she wasn’t paying attention and tried to catch up. We were constantly making stern faces and motioning her to look at the teacher while she was smiling to her sisters and acting like she was on the Jumbo-tron at a football game. She would shove her hands in the back of her leotard and stretch it out showing her underwear to the unlucky grandmothers behind her.

Maybe I’m the broken parent because all I could think was “Oh good lord this child is going to wreck the recital.” The other parents are going to be angry because there are some really dedicated five year olds and mine is not. She has good talent but doesn’t care to apply it. She likes dance but she also likes ketchup.

In the midst of her aloof dancing she claims she hurt her wrist. I didn’t see it but, maybe. Later at home she is watching TV and manages to fall off the couch from a stationary upright position. There were no earthquakes or high winds and yet somehow she fell unexpectedly off the couch. She lands on the same wrist and is in tears. I tend to the wrist with some ice and do some dad checks to make sure we had good motion, no swelling, and does the pain go away? It seemed like a sprain and I told her to be easy with it.

Next day and the kids are playing in the yard and she trips over air and lands on all fours. She jumps up crying and holding her wrist and I take her in the house. I am almost sure it is broken but no swelling or bruising. It only hurt to bend one way so I got a wrist brace and a cold pack and she sat on the couch for a while. I told her not to move and if it still felt like it hurt in fifteen minutes we would check it out at the doctor’s office. I almost went just for the peace of mind but a sprain is persistent too. Once again, I come back and it is fine. She jumps up and rejoins her sisters outside.

A few hours later there is another fall and she is once again in tears and now is holding a limp hand to her side. This time there is continued pain and swelling so after a makeshift sling from a scarf, it is off to the doctor for an x-ray. Long story short, buckle fracture near the right wrist area. She has to be in a removable brace for three weeks. Good job dad.

My ballerina in training has a broken wrist because she can’t get along with gravity. I didn’t forsee this or random boob grabbing this week so I apologize. And for the parents in the same dance class, I also apologize.

For the parents who regularly feel like they fail at this kids thing. Me too. This one is for us. You’re welcome.

Underdaddy to the rescue.