baby boy

They Grow Up So Fast

My baby boy is growing up too fast.

In another month or two we won’t be able to cuddle the same way. He is going to be too heavy and rambunctious. I refuse to cut his nails (the experts say you shouldn’t) so he will actually be dangerous. He won’t need me to fix him bottles anymore. His appetite is changing and I think it is safe to say he is vegan. Speaking of fiber, his poop will soon be too much for the diapers to handle.

He is becoming curious. Just today he crawled out of his playpen all by himself and the house isn’t safe. I have to review everything to make sure it is protected against chewing or mischief. He insists on playing on the stairs and I know that any minute he will trip and fly headlong down to the tile below. His frail little bones and lanky body is a recipe for injury. Where will I take him for medical care? He isn’t covered on my insurance. (I may petition my congressman for a new bill.)

The unspoken elephant in the room is his rapid physical development. How fast are boys supposed to develop sexual desires? I can already tell he gets a little more aggressive at times. Damn that testosterone. I found him humping the arm of a pillow chair in front of his sisters. He is adopted but he doesn’t know it. I hope he understands that his sisters are not “mate” material. How do I handle this behavior? Chide him? Spank him? Let him finish? I know it is only a matter of time before I have to take him to have his “ambitions” removed. God knows I sympathize with that.

Oh well. I guess I will enjoy the moment and let him sleep in a bag as long as gravity and cotton thread will allow.

I know you might be curious about what a dynamic child like this even looks like so I have a picture of him below. The only viable male in our household, Toby.


To all the people who treat pets like children, this post is for you. You’re welcome. Regular readers probably saw this from a mile away but you can help me spread the uncomfortable ambigousness to new people via sharing.


For videos of Toby check out Underdaddy FB page. How we even came to have a wallaby? Click here.

-Underdaddy to the rescue.