So this was a hilarious week. I don’t really want to oversell it before we get into the meat of the matter but there were several points that I enjoyed; Don Threeto has some new quirks, we got some cool new refrigerator art (also known as why I should never be rich), and I had a conversation with a complete stranger and received pivotal life advice.
The week kicked off with this post from Supermom.
Plus she has developed an imaginary soap opera that is based solely on four colored sippy cups. This edge-of-your-seat drama is known as “Cup World”. In Cup World everyone has a name that is determined by taking your dominate color and adding an “-ie”. Maybe a “y” in case of obvious grammatical correctness. For example, the blue cup is Bluey and the green cup is Greenie. I was informed that in this magical world that I would be either Whitey or Tannie.
This game has not been a passing interest kind of thing. It has been going on for about a week and the story line has gotten serious. Some of the cups have been kidnapped. The no spill cups have been tortured for their secrets but refused to talk, which is consistent with what I expect from any no-spill container.
The cups get split up at night but are reunited with smiles and a warm embrace in the morning. I will try and keep everyone updated as their story continues to unfold.
Don’t Give Rednecks Disposable Income
My oldest daughter asked me what I would do if I won the lottery. I told her that I would do all of the craziest things I could think of just to confuse and frustrate people. I still think my idea to build an entire town and hire people to live in it like a weird mix-mash of The Truman Show and Friends is the best idea yet. Alas, I did not win the lottery so I had to settle for the next best thing.
We went shopping at a discount store and I bought some super classy magnets.
I am not one for frivolity so I put the Cat Butts or, as the package said, Derrieres De Chat on the refrigerator. Prima instantly looked into the kitchen and asked, “Are those cat butts?” I said, “Yes”. She went on with her life because a fridge adorned with cat butts isn’t that strange around our house.
Life Advice From A True Buddha Dharma
At work this week I was helping out with a job that is fairly labor intensive. My definition of fairly labor intensive is when I hold any type of tool and I use it for more than an hour. Basically I was doing the equivalent of spreading mulch and my back hates me for it but that is another story. This story is about my strange visitor.
I look up from my sporadic shoveling and I see a man approaching in what appears to be a sweat shirt trimmed out into a vest with a pair of dull scissors. Like he got the cut started and just tore a vee-neck into the thing with his teeth. He smiles at me and waves enthusiastically. I think that I must know this man if he is forward enough to walk right on to a job site and wave at me. I put down my shovel and walked up to greet him.
Me: Hi there. How are you today?
Strange Man Who Smells of Beer at 11am: HI! My name is Frank!
Me: Hello Frank.
Frank: What are you guys doing here?
Me: Oh you know… work of the world. Trying to make things better.
Frank: I used to do some construction work in the construction businesses.
Me: That is a great place to do construction work.
Frank: I know right! But I don’t do that much anymore. I ain’t done much today either. I’m a little drunk and just seeing what you are doing.
Me: Okay. I noticed you seemed a bit energetic for a man in a tangled sweat shirt.
Frank: Yeah it’s blue. My name is Frank.
Me: Hello Frank. It’s nice to meet you.
Frank: You too! Hey you seem nice so I am going to tell you something.
(I could tell that this would be good. The look on his face was suddenly very serious. Even more serious because he had a thin layer of sweat and flushed red cheeks)
Frank: I have some really good life advice. If there is one thing I know it is this.
Me: Let’er rip man. I love good life advice.
Frank: Don’t never have no three way with girls from this county. They will just run off together and there you have to pay both them bitches child support for eighteen years.
Me: (My outer reaction was solemn contemplation but inside I was thinking “Oh shit” and trying not to laugh) Frank, that is some of the best advice I have ever heard.
Frank: It’s true.
Me: I have no doubt. You strike me as a man with no reason to lie. If I ever find myself at such a crossroads I will remember your cautionary tale of woe. I tell you what… It was nice meeting you but I have to get back to work. You be careful.
Frank: I don’t want to get in the way. My name is Frank.
Me: Nice to meet you Frank. You might want to move though because that beeping sound is a dump truck backing up. Be careful out there buddy.
Frank: Thanks man! You too!
And with a final wave Frank ambled off towards an inevitable DUI and/or a horrific machinery related accident. I didn’t actually notice a vehicle so I can only hope he was using his feet for transportation. While I pondered his story I had to admit that given his circumstances, drinking at 11am on a week day might not be the toughest struggle in his life. I like to think that Frank is something like an angel walking the roads of life, appearing supernaturally, and handing out random advice to put people’s personal problems in perspective.
So if you have fun sliding in boxes down stairs, enjoy cat butts, or have long term regrets about your personal choices this post is for you. You’re welcome.
-Underdaddy to the rescue.