Text Me Up

Part of the excitement of being married to a stay-at-home-mom is the daily randomness that I get to experience. It follows a semi-predictable pattern; everything is good until the older two come home from school then all bets are off. Actually, all bets are on and my money is on the shit hitting the fan. However, nothing is written in stone and no one can predict exactly where a day will get strange.

Here are some fun texts I have gotten.

Text Moments 1

These are fairly typical. Someone pooped/spilled/peed.

Animals kick it up a notch. We remember Toby fondly but he had some difficult moments.

SM_Text_5

It was kind of true. He was being a jerk that day. 

Other animal moments involving the incontinent dog are fun. In the picture below there is a typo, the “bug” man not the big man. She is not biased against fat people, just unnerved by the exterminator.

SM_Text_1

The dog is like a goofy blind special needs pet that is too cute to put down except she isn’t cute anymore really. 

Some texts are out of left field and prove I married the right woman because of her sense of humor. Maybe Ramona will be just as accepting…

SM_Text_4

Ramona’s alias is Current Resident, I bet she is in med-school. We could use that kind of financial help. 

The next one I have to put a disclaimer because she reads all these. It is an exaggeration and I have never noticed any maintenance issues.

SM_Text_3

I like a lady who can keep me warm at night. 

And for the final reason that I love the texts from home. I know that she is using her time at home to develop important life skills.

SM_Text_2

Who doesn’t want to be married to a ninja! She has mad food-sneaking skills. 

So if you get awesome and random correspondence from the home front, this post is for you. You’re welcome.

-Underdaddy to the rescue.

 

 

 

11 comments

  1. You made me snarf my beer. I snarfed my beer, and was struggling not to snort while laugh-burping, and Deb who is sitting here next to me working on a post is looking at me like I’m crazy, and it’s all worth it dammit because wow…just…

    …Here’s to home canine radical vasectomies…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You make me want to beef up the texts between hubby and me. Right now, they mostly just deal with whether the dog has peed or pooped yet and does someone need to go home at lunch time to be sure. Your wife’s “nutty” text made me choke on my morning coffee.

    Liked by 1 person

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