What do people search for on the internet? What brings them to certain sites? How do some people get dressed in the morning. I have no answers but I have the search questions saved in a database. Well, WordPress does it for me but same difference.

The scary thing is that most of the people who read my blog are people I know. Who are you freaks? My blog reports search terms that were entered into Google that bring people to my site. Some are confusing. Some are funny. Some are the most disturbing thing I could imagine typing into a computer. I have included the full list below so you weirdo’s can peruse the terms and see if yours shows up. (If you want to end up on the list next year: Go search something weird and then go to my site.)

Read the list below and put your favorite in the comments section:
Christmas Memories
Californication
A Bad Parent
Ivory Soap Snow Christmas Tree (So far so good. Let’s continue…)

Sex Adventures If A Shrunken One Inch Man Used As a Tampon (What the hell?!?)
Kindergardin Sex Education
Orgreenic Pan Losing Non Stick Properties (I did rage out on an Orgreenic Pan)
Old Daddy.com
Tampon Anonymous (This one was very popular)
Items to Put In a Men’s PMS Survival Kit
Show War Is ABC Mows
Chuck Norris Wants to Put Himself In Every Man (I didnt do it Chuck… don’t shoot the messenger)
Kindr XXX (Creeps!)
Underdaddy WordPress
wwwbeefy daddycom
rockotber
Parents On Facebook Be Frontin’ (Word.)
You Are A Bad Parent If
Trick or Treat Poem
Should I Let My Kids Trick or Treat?
Trick or Treating Nantucket
Mind If I Join You
Realistic Erotic Stories of [I Refuse to Type This] (Again, WTF and Creepy)
Out of Gas Interstate Pee
My Son Broke a Glowstick on Carpet
Rock Candy Shoes
Waiting Women Toilet Pee Pants Movie
Am I Pretty
Only Daddy Can
Feces Jokes (This makes sense)
Why Do I Still Have a Knot Under By Black Eye After a Week (Because Threeto is a hardass)
Submissive Tweens
Dose Dadys Girl Twerk
Pink Pill Story
Busted Daddy
Why Is A Wallaby Penis Hinged? (This may actually have been me.)
That’s Was She Said Things
Sprout Farmaceutical (Ouch spelling hurts)
Talking Turds
Daddy It Hurts When [censored because I can’t make myself type the rest]
Frogs Farting Let It Go
Underdaddy
Driving Skills Showboating
Science Project Regarding Ramen Noodles
Kid In The Costume Could Barely Move
Malt Cold Cereal Coupons for Any Size
My Dad Like Me To Twerk
New Year to Daddy
I Thought You Were Done
Frogs Farting (Again?)
Daddy Farts In My Mouth
Milk Has Soured
Amature Shaymed Nude Pics (I am ashamed at their spelling skills)
Tooth Fetish
Pink Pill
Funny Walmart Pink Shirt Girl Butt Crack
Pink Pill Labido
Lady Labido
Toddlers and Babies at Gun and Knife Shows (Also might be me.)
Rotten Protein Smell
How To Paper Mache Jesus (This was not me and therefore is curious since I have a post about it)
Sexmovie
Remove Square of Chocolate Leave Same Number of Squares
Image of Bomb With Thumbs Up Inside
Fat Woman Stuck on Slide
ABC Mouse Communist (haha what?)
Black Market for Teeth (I hope they were looking specifically for my post and not the actual black market)
Google Fat Hot Ass
I am the “Count” and I Am a Time Traveller
Touch My Bare Ass Challenge
Mr Smiles
Under Dads Pants
Oh Yes Daddydotcom
Drug Seeking Patient Meme
Daddy Pee
Video Page of Ebony Girl Shirting on Aplate of Food  (Gross, I hope shirting is something like planking but just as PG)
Idiot Stories that Are True  (This makes me feel like a winner)
Chicken Story Hurting Others  (And another personal win…)
What A Mother Knows
Manginity
Blacks on Daddy
Why We Need to Put a Legend to the Feet of the Chicken

And finally….

Botswanian Mans Hunt Animals Butts in Front of a Woman Pictures Near to There Butt

That last one was awfully specific. I will go ahead and claim that all hope for humanity is lost. If you are on that list somewhere, this post is for you. Unless you are a creep. Jail is for you. You’re welcome.

-Underdaddy to the rescue.