I spend a lot of time asking questions that are rhetorical or I already know the answer to. A really short catalog of my questions along with a few of my internet friends yielded a few interesting patterns.
1) We are really concerned with the status of children’s digestive processes.
2) Kids are like the messy roommate in college. Most of the questions can apply to both situations.
3) We are all (very) uninformed about the things going on right in front of us.
4) Kids know that cats are only nice because they aren’t big enough to kill you.
The Questions from my Facebook Dragnet. The subject was; What is something you ask your kids that would be inappropriate in a business meeting.?
Who left the toilet paper on the edge of the toilet and didn’t flush?
Did you wipe?
Who peed in the floor?
Would you please stop sitting on your sister?
Why is the cat locked in the closet?
Why are you taking your pants off?
Where are your pants?
Why are you naked?
Who stinks?
Did you poop?
Do you have to poop?
Will you PLEASE stop peeing on the floor?
Why is the cat locked in the closet?
Why are you naked?
Would you either nurse or get off the boob!?
You don’t need any more boob right now.
Did you poop?
Do you need me to come help you wipe your butt?
Did you just put a booger in your mouth?
What is going on in there?
Why are you guys so quiet?
Did you just wipe your face on your sister’s head?
What is on my shirt? A booger?
Can you stop licking things?
Don’t lick me while I’m talking to you.
Where are half of your shoes?
Do you intentionally hide one of every shoe that you own?
Do you have a good question to add to this list? Hit me up in the comments so everyone can enjoy. Honestly, this is a bit of a lazy post but I have been busy so humor me a little here.
One followup question. How is this dude still alive?
Just your friendly harbinger of the apocalypse. Sprinkle in the stray thoughts from his 123 year old brain trying to crank out complex biblical theory and we are all confused.
-Underdaddy to the rescue.
Underdaddy 
Omg thank you for writing this, I thought my kid was the only one who was ever told (more than once) “don’t lick me while I am talking to you.” Lol. Maybe she’s going to be ok after all? Despite having only one of every pair of shoes, and having a nudist streak? 🙂
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Totally normal here you should be fine.
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College roommates are actually adult children.
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Kids are gross. I add, “did you just eat that frog?”
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Yes! I hope that has turned out onay
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Did you just pick you sister’s nose?
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Yup that’s a good one
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The questions in my house match all of yours, so instead, I will share with you this conversation I had with my son yesterday.
Bryce: Mommy, I killed a big blister on my arm.
Me: You don’t have a blister on your arm. Was it a booger?
Bryce: Yes! You were right mommy! It was just a dried booger on my arm.
Me: Boys are gross. 🙂
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Mine hand me boogers from time to time. Like they found money or something, nope it’s a booger.
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I can’t count the number of times my son said, “Mommy, can you hold this?” And handed me a booger. Yeah.
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Yep, this happened to me just yesterday! I am driving the car and my 4yo says, “here, mommy.” I reach back to get whatever it is without looking and yep -bugger! Yuck! Then, she laughed!!! I am so doomed…lol
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Totally doomed
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I just visited my friends with two children, aged 2 and .. 0.2. One thing I noticed is that for the first two years, they’re on par with my cat, and knock just as many things to the floor.
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Maybe worse because then they try to eat it.
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