“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”
That is the profound phrase that was supposed to be represented on a flexible rubber drinking cup. It is a bar souvenir and has been changed to say, “Beauty is in the eye of the Beerholder.”
My second child is exploring the world of reading and as I walk into the living room I find her exploring this cup.
“What is this last word daddy?”
“Beerholder. It is supposed to say beholder and it is a turn of phrase that….”
“Can I try to read it?”
I thought that is what we were doing but I say, “Sure, tell me what it says.”
She stares for a minute like she is genuinely confused at what these letters are saying. I just told her the last word and I know she knows the others. Somehow, something in her brain overrides all previous knowledge and she reads proudly, “Butter is in the eye of the Butthole.”
“Wow. Not even close.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“What does it say?”
“Nothing about sticks of fat or buttholes. Please don’t read anything out loud when we go to Walmart.”
“Okay daddy!”
“I love you!”
“I love you too!”
And that is the last we have mentioned of the buttery butthole incident. Prima moved on to an interpretive dance while watching Teen Titans, Go!. I don’t think Jane has stopped laughing yet. Days later and she manages to stop for a gasp of air and a quick recap, “Butter in the eye of the butthole! Ah hahahaha.” This is one of the reasons we don’t leave the house much.
If you can cross out TV news anchor or proofreader as careers your children might enjoy, this post is for you. You’re welcome.
-Underdaddy to the rescue.
Underdaddy 
That would fit right in at Walmart! You might even get a discount!
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Always low prices. Always.
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I can’t wait to have kids. I laughed hard with this one.
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Take your time but then have lots of them. They are bursting with comedy.
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Oh man, kids say the darndest things!
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I freaking love your kids! They are great!
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Thanks!
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I find myself saying “please don’t say that at ____” to my daughter. Unfortunately, I usually find it so funny that I’m not very convincing. She usually listens to me though. Good post to read at the end of the day!
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I just listen and laugh and hope others understand it isn’t me teaching things
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Tears in my eyes, I’m laughing so hard!
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Sweet I’m glad you liked it!
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LOL! I was SOOO grateful that Pebbles is a late-blooming reader the day we stopped at a red light in front of the Condoms To Go store. You inspired me to write a post about it.
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Ha! Condoms to Go. Hmmm let me read up on that over at your place. Sounds like the only way to purchase them really, I don’t want to go to the store where they are for use on site.
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Good point. That marketing department really knew their stuff when they picked the name. Instills a sense of confidence in their customers. I suppose.
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BTW, Pebbles laughed really hard when I told her about the buttery butthole incident. She and Jane would probably adore each other.
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I think she sounds like Prima’s BFF. Their floating dominance of life despite an artsy disconnect.
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BTW #2: Your. kids. are. freakin. adorable.
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Thank you 🙂
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