The Buttery Hole

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

That is the profound phrase that was supposed to be represented on a flexible rubber drinking cup. It is a bar souvenir and has been changed to say, “Beauty is in the eye of the Beerholder.”

My second child is exploring the world of reading and as I walk into the living room I find her exploring this cup.

“What is this last word daddy?”

“Beerholder. It is supposed to say beholder and it is a turn of phrase that….”

“Can I try to read it?”

I thought that is what we were doing but I say, “Sure, tell me what it says.”

She stares for a minute like she is genuinely confused at what these letters are saying. I just told her the last word and I know she knows the others. Somehow, something in her brain overrides all previous knowledge and she reads proudly, “Butter is in the eye of the Butthole.”

“Wow. Not even close.”



“What does it say?”

“Nothing about sticks of fat or buttholes. Please don’t read anything out loud when we go to Walmart.”

“Okay daddy!”

“I love you!”

“I love you too!”

And that is the last we have mentioned of the buttery butthole incident. Prima moved on to an interpretive dance while watching Teen Titans, Go!.  I don’t think Jane has stopped laughing yet. Days later and she manages to stop for a gasp of air and a quick recap, “Butter in the eye of the butthole! Ah hahahaha.” This is one of the reasons we don’t leave the house much.

If you can cross out TV news anchor or proofreader as careers your children might enjoy, this post is for you. You’re welcome.

-Underdaddy to the rescue.


  1. I find myself saying “please don’t say that at ____” to my daughter. Unfortunately, I usually find it so funny that I’m not very convincing. She usually listens to me though. Good post to read at the end of the day!


  2. LOL! I was SOOO grateful that Pebbles is a late-blooming reader the day we stopped at a red light in front of the Condoms To Go store. You inspired me to write a post about it.


      1. Good point. That marketing department really knew their stuff when they picked the name. Instills a sense of confidence in their customers. I suppose.


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