To the people I know, you are going to want to read this. I have some inside information and parenting code of ethics makes it a little tricky but you should know that you are in grave danger. Recent interrogation of my children has produced some valuable intelligence. I wish I could tell you this info directly but that isn’t an option.
Stay calm. You have time to fix this but I will need you to follow some guidelines. We have an opportunity to set up our parenting spy network.
Here are the rules:
1) This will be like a scavenger hunt. I don’t know where this weapon of mass destruction is located and you have to search discreetly.
2) Search carefully. This item will explode and release a noxious fume.
3) How you came to know about this item is classified. Friends share secrets sometimes and if one friend’s dad overhears something and tells the other parent trust can be lost quickly. These two kids are really close and I wouldn’t change that for the world. If you are questioned I would go with Santa, Elf on the Shelf, or the NSA.
4) I promise to keep your anonymity if you keep mine.
Agreed? Pinkie swear?
Okay let’s proceed.
From what I understand, your child is wanting a pet chicken. Probably because my child talks about having chickens so I apologize. Both children have a basic understanding that eggs become chickens. Together the two of them smuggled an egg out of your refrigerator and hid it away in a desk. My sources say the plan is to allow this egg to incubate for two months in the hopes a small chick will be born. If the plan succeeds then your carpet will be screwed. Chickens are the artesian wells of poop. Due to some macro-physics they poop more than they actually eat.
If the master plan fails you may have to fumigate your house. It is a nice house and nobody wants that. I stepped on a six month old rotten egg and it would make a skunk vomit. I think that is actually how frosted glass is made. Death row inmates are forced to smash rotten eggs near virgin glass and the individual particles try to escape thereby fracturing the crystalline structure of the glass and giving it the frosted look. But enough about that, you are wasting time. Go search your children’s desks for no reason at all.
If you find this ticking time bomb please email me a photo. If you find yourself saying, “Could this be me or someone I know?” The answer is yes so you better spread the word. Henceforth, I know nothing. Our conversation never happened. This message would be cooler if it self-destructed but it won’t. (I loved Inspector Gadget) You’re welcome.
-Underdaddy to the rescue.
Underdaddy 
Kids. Got to love them. Rotten eggs and all.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I though the idea was cute anyway. But rotten eggs are awful.
LikeLike
My kids don’t have drawers so they can’t hide anything. I did find a dirty diaper in my purse like a week later (but that was me forgetting to throw it away :D)
(The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree) 🙂
LikeLike
Bet that smelled good too! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Magnificent! 😀
LikeLike
If this is my house….I will hurt you
LikeLike
If this is my house….I will hurt you
LikeLike
I don’t know what you are talking about.
LikeLike
Plausible deniability…I like it
LikeLike
Exactly
LikeLike
Oh my sounds like a trip to Walmart for all kinds of air freshener products!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Probably where the eggs came from! That place is trouble but keeps life interesting
LikeLiked by 1 person
No worries here- we have chickens outside, and actually have chicks right now! So, there would have to be an ulterior motive if they had an egg in the house….and they’d better not!
LikeLike
Haha right. Never know with kids
LikeLiked by 1 person
He doesn’t have a desk so I know I’m not it. Lol Good luck to the “lucky” winner.
LikeLike
I wouldn’t put it past John Howard but you are right he’s not it. 🙂
LikeLike
Ha ha. I am glad my kids are in their forties and don’t know your kids!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I never disclosed an age, mischief abounds!
LikeLike
I grew up with my father raising chickens and such. Um, no thank you, never again.
Didn’t y’all also attempt to raise butterflies? Do you anticipate this to be more or less successful? 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Define success. We did release some butterflies alive, in march, so not a total win.
LikeLike
My Grandmother once kept a dead fish in shrimp boat on top of the refrigerator because I thought it would come back to life. I guess I was four.
She finally tossed it when it was so dead the neighbors complained.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Tough love. She sounds awesome though.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think keeping it a week was way beyond the call of duty. My Grandmother was great. It was my first time fishing. I caught the fish and felt awful when it died. I don’t know why I thought the shrimp boat had magic–but at four…:)
LikeLiked by 1 person