Pick Of The Litter

So in the world of good intentions and parental backfires I think I have a new one.

Trying to sway popular opinion requires social cooperation. The parental magic of reverse psychology and using siblings to apply peer pressure is well known. Tell a toddler that you are going to eat their food and they might start eating eat. Tell them that you will give it to another sibling and they will eat the gravel in the driveway just to keep it away from the others. Sometimes the younger ones look up to the older ones and you can use the trick of getting the older one to tell the younger ones how awesome a new food tastes. Sometimes peer pressure is effective.

Every now and then the kids learn a trick and attempt to use it against you.

We were all gathered around a storybook and as I was finishing I realized that Lady Bug had a booger that needed extraction. One of her sisters handed me a wipe from nearby and Lady Bug put two and two together. She reached a nubby index finger up and snagged the booger instantly out of her nose. It was impressive because when I try to wipe her nose she sucks it up just far enough that I can’t quite get it out. Now I know why. She starts towards her mouth with the freshly picked treat and I chase her hand with the wipe saying, “No! We don’t eat boogers. They are gross.” Lady Bug giggles and Don Threeto chimes in, “They aren’t gross. They taste good!”

 

Underdaddy: They do not taste good.

Prima: Actually they do dad.

Underdaddy: Not you too? Jane tell them that it is gross.

Jane: *shrugs shoulders*

Underdaddy: Oh My God. Am I surrounded by booger eaters?

Jane: Have you ever tasted them?

Underdaddy: Yes, No, I don’t know…. I … hmmm. Well played.

 

Smart little bastards. They talked me into a no-win answer about eating boogers. I questioned my own reality. Do I remember boogers? Are they terrible? Should I eat them? They are made of glucose I think. No. No. What is wrong with me? Blah.

I just got peer pressured and out-thought by a gang of booger eating bullies.

We clarified that boogers are not a tasty treat and are about the worst thing you can eat. I don’t know that they will believe me because I didn’t have anyone nearby to back me up. The dog was there but she licks her butt so that isn’t helpful.

So if you have given you children social weapons by accident, this post is for you. You’re welcome.

-Underdaddy to the rescue.

26 comments

  1. I tell pediatric patients that we all pick our boogers. You just don’t want to do it in front of other people, you never eat them or leave them lying around for other people to find, and you always wash your hands before and after. Kids are so brilliant! They know when you are bluffing every time.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I love this post! even if I was gagging while I read it.
    And the more you say: “don’t do it, the more they do it and smile while they are doing it”.
    I’m waiting till my 2 years old grows up a bit so I can threaten of filming him and uploading the video on YouTube. That works with my other kids when they start nagging 🙂

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  3. Have you ever tried to explain it to them scientifically? I figure if they knew snot was a defense against getting sick and then children eating boogers is kind like a gateway to inviting invaders into their mouths and possibly getting sick – maybe they would stop.

    Ofcourse what I just said isn’t 100% true but if said scary enough, maybe they’d think twice?

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    1. I’ve told them it was nose vomit and the way to getting sick and whatever else. The older ones don’t participate but they also don’t help discourage anyone either. Kids don’t care. It’s a yummy treat. We tell adults that soda is the devil and they still drink soda so…

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