Learning to be creative and writing stories are things that our oldest daughter Jane has expressed interest in for some time. We are encouraging her to make up her own stories and books to help her with reading, spelling, and handwriting. So far so good, we are setting aside time each day that will be for Daily Journal entries but she can write a story as an alternative. Today she asked if she could write stories like Daddy does and let people read them. Seeing this as yet another way to let my kids mis-represent my parenting, I said sure.

Protective parents of the world can relax because my approval came with some conditions. First, I will be reviewing posts and interacting with the interwebs. She will write the stories the old fashion way and I will post them through my site. Any creepo’s can move along.

She immediately went to work writing her first story which must have been at the forefront of her mind. What deep and insightful thoughts could she be having that were burning her mind and begging to be shared with the world? After about fifteen minutes of writing she came back with a rough draft. I gave her a little feedback and she went back to work with the second half of the post. I have included below her complete works below with only edits for proper spelling. Enjoy.

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One day we were going to sleep and Daddy made up the Mexican Farting Frog and that is what he called my sister and I was laughing all night. In the morning I was still laughing. It was so funny! The next day I was still laughing. Then I quit. It was all good.

The End

A Mexican Farting Frog makes a sound like a pooting noise. It is funny. It smells good too. It is very big. It is big as a Dad.

The End

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I didn’t want to color any opinions of the story before you read it but I think it may be award winning one day. Sure it needs a little structure but wow, powerful. Better than where I started for sure. She had someone laughing with her very first work. I enjoyed “It was all good” but I am worried that “It smells good too.”

The actual source of this story (I feel I need to defend myself somewhat) is once again at the magical twilight of bedtime where everyone is tired and careless with words. Now occasionally I will accidentally on purpose let out something like a toot or a fluff. Some might say a fart.

I may accidentally do it a little too often because the eighteen month old knows to giggle. In fact sometimes when she bends over to pick up a toy I provide sound effect with my mouth and she giggles so hard she falls over. Supermom is totally opposed to this, though she has to try not to smile. Who can help it? Farts are hilarious.

So one night while putting the girls to bed I rip one and they all laugh.

Don Threeto: “Daddy was that you?”

Underdaddy: “No.”

Prima: Who was it then?

Underdaddy: Must have been the rare Mexican Farting Frog. They are sneaky.

All: Hahahahaha, Daddy is so funny!

Once again I thought that would be the last I heard of that moment and somehow it takes precedence over useful memories like where they last saw their coats/shoes/juice cup/sister.

So if you teach your kids that farts are funny and to blame them on animals, this post is for you. And for the start of Jane’s story telling career. It is the one thing I would do if I were wealthy and I hope to support that dream if my girls ever have it. You’re welcome.

-Underdaddy to the rescue.