I like timely posts and keeping the reading relevant for people trying to read along with our story. Everyone in our family has something to contribute to the crazy and the spotlight changes from week to week. This week I feel like I need to tell you about Prima the Ballerina. Her name is a lingering irony because while she loves music and dance, she has some real work to do before she is graceful.

Prima is the second child and she is a quiet and loving child. She has one of those glowing spirits that really enjoys happiness and other people being happy. She is a big kid so she doesn’t get much guff from the others. She is tall for her age and solid. When she is excited her entire face lights up and when she is hurt it pulls at my heart.

When she was a toddler we worried because she was very quiet. She watched, listened, and interacted but very rarely spoke. We wondered if she could. Then one day she decided to speak and out came a nice detailed sentence. Subject, verb, and good clear words. She has an awesome memory and saves her words to build a vocabulary. I remember one day in particular. We drove past a U-haul van with the picture and fun facts on the side and this van had a sea turtle. Prima looks at her older sister Jane and says, “I see a tortoise.”

Jane replies, “What is a tortoise?”

Prima rolls her eyes and says, “Duh it’s a turtle Jane.”

She hadn’t spoken for most of the morning and for a four year old she was awfully proud of showing off to her six year old sister. That for me sums it up personality wise. She listens and waits and then when the time is right she unleashes her collected thoughts which are pretty well on target.

So what has Prima done in the past few days?

We can start with her nonchalantly grabbing someone’s boobs. I blame her inherited A.D.D. and curiosity. The interesting part of this story is that Supermom and I were at a Christmas party during this event and learned about it by text. A couple had just asked me, “So is your life really that interesting or are you good at making it sound interesting?”

I promised that the stories were facts and not five minutes later we get a text from my brother’s girlfriend.

 

“So your daughter just grabbed my boobs.”

“……”

“She was talking to me and just grabbed them and asked why I had them. She said they are for babies and asked if I had a baby.”

“Sorry.”

“She told me that mommy had these but she was done with babies so they were getting smaller.”

“Awesome.”

“Just thought you would want to know. Lol”

“I…just…Eh… Sorry.”

 

So the kids are unpredictable and timely. That would not be the last time this past week that they served up irony.

In a previous post I shared how we are outnumbered and rely on a Zone Defense approach. We can’t follow the kids around and watch them all the time and so we try to anticipate what they may do. If you have kids you know this is impossible.

My karma in this situation started at dance class. This week we were allowed to go back and watch the children in class. Ever parent hopes they have a prodigy in something amazing but honestly I am beginning to hope mine are average at extra-curricular activities. Prima was completely unfocused and that is compared to a line-up of five year olds. She was lost in her own thoughts staring around the room and puffing her cheeks out like a blowfish. They would watch the teacher and practices tap steps and she was always a step behind because she wasn’t paying attention and tried to catch up. We were constantly making stern faces and motioning her to look at the teacher while she was smiling to her sisters and acting like she was on the Jumbo-tron at a football game. She would shove her hands in the back of her leotard and stretch it out showing her underwear to the unlucky grandmothers behind her.

Maybe I’m the broken parent because all I could think was “Oh good lord this child is going to wreck the recital.” The other parents are going to be angry because there are some really dedicated five year olds and mine is not. She has good talent but doesn’t care to apply it. She likes dance but she also likes ketchup.

In the midst of her aloof dancing she claims she hurt her wrist. I didn’t see it but, maybe. Later at home she is watching TV and manages to fall off the couch from a stationary upright position. There were no earthquakes or high winds and yet somehow she fell unexpectedly off the couch. She lands on the same wrist and is in tears. I tend to the wrist with some ice and do some dad checks to make sure we had good motion, no swelling, and does the pain go away? It seemed like a sprain and I told her to be easy with it.

Next day and the kids are playing in the yard and she trips over air and lands on all fours. She jumps up crying and holding her wrist and I take her in the house. I am almost sure it is broken but no swelling or bruising. It only hurt to bend one way so I got a wrist brace and a cold pack and she sat on the couch for a while. I told her not to move and if it still felt like it hurt in fifteen minutes we would check it out at the doctor’s office. I almost went just for the peace of mind but a sprain is persistent too. Once again, I come back and it is fine. She jumps up and rejoins her sisters outside.

A few hours later there is another fall and she is once again in tears and now is holding a limp hand to her side. This time there is continued pain and swelling so after a makeshift sling from a scarf, it is off to the doctor for an x-ray. Long story short, buckle fracture near the right wrist area. She has to be in a removable brace for three weeks. Good job dad.

My ballerina in training has a broken wrist because she can’t get along with gravity. I didn’t forsee this or random boob grabbing this week so I apologize. And for the parents in the same dance class, I also apologize.

For the parents who regularly feel like they fail at this kids thing. Me too. This one is for us. You’re welcome.

Underdaddy to the rescue.